passport to Pimlico!

By amy ~ December 16th, 2009 @ 11:29 pm

amypics 044I am enjoying a relaxing few days having returned safely from That London on Thursday evening, and considering that virtually every moment of my time in the charming village of SW1 was spoken for before I even got on the first train, I have enjoyed the ministrations of such delightful, interesting, and decidedly talented gentlemen for virtually the entire duration I have returned with something of a glow which feels nostalgically reminiscent of an old Ready Brek commercial, albeit one with very untidy hair, a few missing buttons and embarrassingly stiff legs. Huge apologies to the gentlemen who left calling until the last minute and were  unavoidably disappointed, but I’ll be back next month (and in birthday mood, but more of that later!)

My charming apartment has been rebooked for my return next month, and a list of  telephone demands has been made; as some of you will know, spacious, spotless and desirably located as my new favourite London pad was, the horror of discovering that the essential-for-the-short-of-time toaster was absent, as were proper mugs (resulting in my having to make, drink and wash up two cups of tea at a time) not to mention the degree-standard IT skills required to connect to the in-house WiFi was rather more than I am prepared to bear again, and whilst the lack of a suitable warm, starchy and comforting base on which to eat Marmite is hardly a life-altering catastrophe, all points have been noted and I have been assured that next time, the requisite inventory will be provided. Thank God (and for the idly curious,  no, toast does not work in the microwave and yes, I did try making it over one of my scented candles, only to be thwarted by the corners).

Next week is filling up availablility-wise; please do book early! Cancellations are always possible if plans change, but as stated last time, same days bookings will not be taken for the remainder of the month, as spelled out to the gentleman who rang yesterday expecting to see me in an hours’ time and bafflingly, at my specially discounted rate for members of the armed forces, despite not belonging to any of them himself (strange indeed how that was the only part of my painstakingly-written website he was able to read, apparently having no idea of my actual fees, services or increasingly limited capacity to tolerate conversing with callers who display all the tact, courtesy and intelligence of a halfbrick). At least 24 hours warning please, and to anyone who for whatever reason thinks it is acceptable to haggle, the best way to save yourself some money in this instance is by not bothering to pick the phone up in the first place.

The apartment is looking ever more festive since the arrival of my lovely Christmas tree, which is subtly and simultaneously scenting the air and adding fresh texture to the carpet, giving every barefoot journey an exciting Indiana Jones-style frisson of adventure. Longer standing visitors will be relieved to hear that this acquisition is of a rather more manageable size than the towering and resplendent nine footer which adorned the (far emptier) living room last time round, prompting more than one comment about Trafalgar Square looking a touch on the empty side (and you didn’t have to cut it up with a junior hacksaw afterwards!) Candles are lit, the fridge is reassuringly well stocked and all preparations are well up to speed; since my return I have also eaten 6 mince pies, one mini Christmas pudding (both with cream) and an entire 1lb 6oz box of assorted Thorntons toffee kindly presented to me on Saturday so any energetic suggestions very welcome!

Brief posting this week – as some of you will know, I have been having a little technical trouble and am now typing from my new and super-compact Sony Vaio; sleekly desirable and beguiling object though it undoubtedly is, the keyboard is going to take a little more practice before everything I type stops coming out in Tuareg (needless to say, the accompanying words coming out of my mouth originate from a far baser dialect, although for the record, I do not believe that this form of temporary, tech-driven Tourettes is contagious). Will be back on next week with Christmas wishes!

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