commencing countdown…

By amy ~ February 17th, 2011 @ 7:14 pm

And a belated Happy Valentine’s Day to everybody reading; I was fortunate enough to have much of the day for some remorseless lazing about after enjoying a lovely aromatherapy massage as this month’s treat, and even got an unexpected happy ending upon discovering a slightly misshapen but desirably gym-locker-warm Snickers at the bottom of my bag on the way home. Who needs packed, overpriced restaurants with shamelessly gruesome special menus when one can spend Valentine’s evening peacefully nibbling leftover quiche and cheesy animals (kindly provided by my Sunday evening visitor) and rereading American Psycho – equally shameless and gruesome, but infinitely more fun?

Meanwhile, preparations for my New York trip in ten days time continue apace, and I have today spent over two hours struggling to negotiate the obstacle course that is Eros in order to place my special ‘Visiting’ ad; unfortunately after over an hour of tinkering, rewrites, photo-uploading and an unreal amount of box-ticking my poor little Vaio decided to faint with exhaustion, and I had no choice other than to reboot and start all over again (needless to say after a minor meltdown and some truly disgraceful language). Enquiries are starting to arrive already even without this, and I have been heartened by the enthusiasm – to those who have found their way here via one of my handful of US postings, do get your enquiries in in good time; I will be spending a significant portion of next week getting packing and itineraries arranged around those appointments I already have, and as such my availability at home will be limited but as stated earlier, don’t be afraid to ask!

This week I have also attended my first Zumba class – the faithful may remember that I have been trying to procure a place on this since last September, but inbetween my comings and goings have never managed it before now. Suffice to say, I am unlikely to be trying again; in the interest of giving everything a fair go I plan to return next week, but the sheer cringing embarrassment of joining the bizarrest mix possible of stoic Northern ladies in sensible tracksuits, shiny-faced pony club types who would attend DIY trepanning classes should they ever be announced as the next ‘in’ thing, and the usual mini-clique of members who turn up for everything because it’s free (sorry, included) attempting to keep up with the lively hip-rolling Latino routines only previously seen on YouTube was almost more than I could stand, and the vast majority of the hour was spent wondering whether to feign sudden injury to make good my escape, or just quietly and discreetly slink off inbetween merengues. Being British, I of course did neither.

I can only say to anybody who (like me) favours nice cashmere cardigans, proper tea (made in a pot, please) and exercising dignified restraint in public (and in private to some extent, but not in quite the same way), possibly whilst enjoying a spot of Radio 4, I strongly urge you to avoid Zumba like the plague unless trying not to trip over your feet whilst simultaneously flailing your arms and whooping like a rabid howler monkey is your idea of a productive way to spend your Wednesday. In Rio, surrounded by olive-skinned litheness on a hot and humid Friday night, it’s probably fabulous. On a grey February evening on the North Yorkshire coast, predictably less so, although the state of my numerous aching joints today say it clearly does the job, at least. Like I said, it gets one more chance…

As some will have read on my About page, I will be away this weekend and my next incall availability is Monday – if you want to see me before I have ingested six days worth of American-size servings (and I have composed a detailed burger plan already, which will surprise no-one who has met me a single jot), best book now!

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