an update, and – a result!!!

By amy ~ August 12th, 2011 @ 3:51 pm

Well I had hoped that this week last year was a particularly galling one-off – would that it were so! This last week, and specifically the last 48 hours have made the events surrounding my earlier post pale into insignificance. I have never, ever (in the short time I’ve had it) been so grateful for my trusty call blocker and now (to my unabashed delight following some of the most mind-bogglingly inarticulate text exchanges in communication history): presenting my new best friend – BlackBerry SMS Blocker! Thank God for technology, even if all it means is that they can’t ring/text again.

No more spammers, piss-artists, wannabe pimps (yes ‘Leon’, this means you, you twat) or God help us, magazine buyers – it would appear that another issue of the content-thieving DOM Promotions hallowed title ‘Northern Playmates’ has emerged from the sewer and found it’s way to the brown paper bags of bewildered cheapskates everywhere. And I can only assume that the same will be true of their other titles (Up North, Down South, Wales, Midlands and West contact magazines being others), which means that unwary ladies all over the land will be picking up the phone to people who have only seen a phone number, an elderly photograph and have no clue whatsoever how the normal, everyday paid sex scene works so it seems, which isn’t that surprising considering what they have bought is a bloody contact mag.

It isn’t really any more surprising that the buyers of this dreck, when confronted with attractive-looking pictures of nicely posed ladies amongst the roadkill-style fanny snaps are going to pick up the phone expecting, well, whatever the people who deliberately include themselves in these things are offering (a bag of chips and taxi fare?) and the blame lies squarely with DOM Promotions – think Google should have got it by now – but there’s really no excuse for their being quite so rude, abusive and belligerent when politely told they are not going to get to fuck us in ten minutes time for 50p, or whatever. Of course I have only these brief conversations to go on, but after almost three years of these in fits and starts, I shudder to think how the callers react when confronted with actual real-life women (and showers, cutlery, aeroplanes and so on).

I wouldn’t be too pleased either considering the thing costs seven quid a go. I certainly haven’t forgotten the kindness of the lovely Adele in Newcastle a year or two ago in going out, buying a copy and posting the page with ‘my’ ad to me (even if the gynae pictures advertising premium-rate chat lines on the reverse put me off my Ready Brek). My main reason alongside this for posting (apart from badly needing a mini-rant haha) is that there is finally something we can  do about it – having put up with this (along with many other ladies) for over two years now I decided to dig my heels in, and lo and behold – they’ve seen the light! Briefly, anybody who objects to having their copyrighted pictures and phone number published in these grotty rags without their permission can now write to:

– send your name and the mobile number they’ve printed and it will be removed from their databases, Never To Be Seen Again We Promise. So they say, anyway. Fingers crossed.

The idea that ‘all publicity is good publicity’ and that we should be ‘grateful’ in some way for the free advertising, is one that has puzzled me for some time – why would I be grateful for something that results in both mine and the callers time being wasted, causes me considerable stress and irritation and is never going to earn me any money? The reason I advertise how and where I do is because I retain complete control over how I and my services are promoted and represented, and to some extent at least, to whom. I do realise that the Adultwork version of this is going to look like rank hypocrisy of the highest order on a site populated with every possible degree and variation of desperado (mostly sharing the inexplicable desire to show the world what they had for breakfast – if I ever develop a burning ambition to post close-up pictures of my genitals in the public domain, I promise I’ll at least try to contain myself until the shaving rash has gone), but the fact remains there are at least some charming and sensible punters using it and frankly compared with the magazine callers, it’s the prossie-marketing equivalent of Tatler. Put simply, I wouldn’t expect to have much luck if  I was selling apples and decided to advertise them on a site for those wanting oranges on the grounds that despite them being completely different, they are both fruit. Any calls I received as a result would be more than likely from those naturally assuming that I must have some stray Jaffas stashed away, or else what on earth would I be doing there? In other words, nobody gets what they want, and fortunately, DOM Promotions appear to have realised this too – yay!

So back, thankfully, in the gentle world of far more pleasant pastimes and the impromptu numpty-deluge has meant a wonderfully peaceful week for me (as hoped, given the hi-octane charging about of the previous weeks) bar a couple of very welcome regular visitors who popped in to enjoy the warm and inviting sanctuary with me! As many will have noticed, next week is my regular-ish (and much needed) break to my second-favourite settees at Champneys, and I plan to return on Thursday evening newly massaged, scrubbed, polished and yoga-ed into a state of impeccably flawless grace and poise. At least until the phone rings…

Above is not-very-well-photographed proof (if proof were needed) that fabulous, talented and thoughtful punters do still exist, and if my dealings with the arseholes serve no other useful purpose it reminds me how great the vast, VAST majority of my gentlemen callers are! I plan to add over the weekend – if I don’t get chance to post again first, I will be checking emails briefly each day I am away but my phone will be resolutely off until next Friday. Next Scarborough incalls will be Monday 22nd August (unless somebody makes me a weekend offer I really can’t refuse, like a whole crisp tenner to meet them and their mates in a field, or whatever.)

Back soon…

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4 Responses to an update, and – a result!!!

  1. kev

    contact mags still exist?

  2. Anika

    Sweet, email sent! I’m counting myself lucky that I’m not in your area though. The calls from Down South are all pointless of course, but it doesn’t seem to bring in a greater proportion of knobheads than usual.

  3. Anika

    Oh, just noticed the date on this (I forgot I was sorting by oldest first). Did I miss a post on SAAFE about it?

  4. amy

    Aargh – I forgot! I actually logged in to post about it on SAAFE, but got distracted while I was looking for the thread and forgot all about it (probably thanks to that spammer who keeps posting huge weird photographs of airbrushed ladies everywhere); I even posted it on Punternet. Will get to it right away…


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