i got 99 problems but a fish ain’t one…

By amy ~ May 23rd, 2011 @ 12:20 am

Firstly, and as so many have now asked, above is a picture (of one at least) of my oft-mentioned piscine companions; Chubby Chops is a brand new addition to the household, and is settling nicely in Tank 2 having shrugged off a touch of whitespot from the pet shop. He enjoys eating, digging, and getting stuck in the Vallis plants at the back and having to be rescued. More anthropomorphic dramas to follow.

Another gentle and calming week with plenty of visitors old and new, and for the first time in weeks, ten consecutive days have now gone by without me seeing the inside of a railway station! Instead I have (at various stages) been out in the lovely weather for coffee and gossip with friends, started some new knitting, got a (very little) bit more DIY done and even bounced on a bouncy castle. I have also managed to drop a hairdryer on my foot this morning (ouch) whilst preparing for a rare Sunday assignation, with a very pleasant new friend who was good enough to tell me that my Gallery was not working in Firefox and possibly has not been for a month – aaargh. It ought to be OK now, and I am told was fine in Internet Explorer (which I haven’t used in so long I’d forgotten it existed), but huge apologies to anybody who couldn’t work out where all the blessed photies had gone! Bollocks, as the saying goes…

Preparations are well underway for my trip to Edinburgh from Friday onwards, and I am hoping the current beautiful sunshine travels with me! Readers of a certain duration may remember my Aberdeen/Edinburgh visit last year a fortnight or so earlier, which resulted in improbably sunburned shoulders, a lesson in how to perfectly aim a desk fan at a hotel bed and a frantic trip to Accessorize for flipflops to try and offset the blistering heat – this year the plan is to either A: pack everything from sunglasses and bikini to snowboots (bearing in mind that I am also visiting Inverness), or B: to pack nothing bar the bare bones (stockings, Kindle, proper tea bags) and then paddle around the shops obtaining the necessities as needed. I like the second one, especially since Edinburgh also boasts a Harvey Nichols.

This week has also brought the highest yet number of oddballs, timewasting and otherwise for a considerable period, and for the first time in three years* I was compelled to actually send a visitor home from the parking place without admitting him. It may therefore be an opportune time to remind eager potential visitors that what may seem like a flippant, lighthearted (or God forbid, funny) off-the-cuff comment to you can make you sound by turns intimidating, juvenile or just plain weird to us, and all of those things either singularly or in combination are likely to lead to a wasted journey, including for the gentleman who had driven from York only to fall at the last hurdle and be turned around again. As ever, manners cost nothing (and reap plenty).

Along similar lines, I would also point out that whilst it is acceptable to be late (and we all know that travelling to Scarborough in good weather can be a logistical nightmare at the best of times) if you are going to be half an hour late you need to say so, and not tell me you will be here in ten minutes. By the time the gentleman in question arrived I had long since got changed and was about to go out. Conversely, please don’t ring me with twenty minutes to spare to announce your presence – I am generally ready two to five minutes before start time and be assured, the cast-iron, unfailing, 100% certain way to get me in a complete flap is to turn up early. If you want an appointment at ten minutes to two, say so and I’ll be ready – just don’t then turn up at twenty-to! There endeth the lesson, although I am beginning to think that a follow up post to the previous ‘newbie’ one from way back when could be on it’s way. Watch this space…

To this week – I will be in Scarborough until Thursday (which is limited for purposes of packing and fridge-emptying); Wednesday is already booked bar the evening and as ever, I will not be taking any short notice appointments or same day bookings after twelve, no matter how many times I have seen you or much money you offer me (sorry, lesson definitely endethed now!) In the meantime, and for those not watching on Adultwork – a new picture! Rest to follow when I have time, impatient Formspring folk and others…*the last one, three years or so ago, telephoned at half past three to inform me that he was in Scarborough ready for his half past six appointment and when told he could come back in an hour but not before, spent the intervening time ringing me from telephone boxes to tell me where he was at all times along the route to the landmark near my old place. Needless to say he was on his way back to Whitby with a flea in his ear well before half past six, and I was on my way to the pub.

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